Having trouble finding the right one?

Have you ever thought, “Why haven’t I found the right person to spend the rest of my life with?” I have some thoughts about that:

  1. What if you have met the right person, but you don’t want to admit it’s them because:
    1. They work at your company and you could get fired for dating them, etc.
    2. They make less money than what you were hoping for in a spouse, etc.
    3. They have a different color of skin than you, and you don’t want to deal with your family and their racism, etc.
    4. They are straight and you have been living the gay lifestyle and you don’t know how your friends and community will handle your new lifestyle, etc.
    5. They live in a different country, and you aren’t willing to give up your comfort to pursue a relationship with them for fear they will want you to move there
    6. They have an issue or quirk that you don’t like. It’s true that you aren’t going to completely enjoy everything about them, all of the time, but the feeling will be mutual. The point is to improve yourself, and seek The Lord on how to help them improve. You are supposed to be teammates and best friends, helpmates. Sometimes our short comings are something that we don’t notice until The Lord or someone else helps us see them. If you want to help someone see their shortcomings, you have to be ready for them to point out yours, too. This can be done in a healthy way. I ask my husband, etc. every once in awhile to tell me something (changeable in a healthy way, not talking about hair color, etc.) that bothers him that I need to work on to improve myself. It can be uncomfortable but how do I know if I am truly being a good wife, mother, etc., unless I am willing to hear the hearts of my husband, children, The Lord, etc. about myself and how I treat them, etc.? Before I got married, I had had enough of dating the wrong people. I seriously asked The Lord to put me with the right one. I was really scared by that as I was a drug user, etc. and was concerned The Lord was going to put me with a “Bible Thumper” that didn’t understand me and that I couldn’t relate to but soon after I was willing to have His will, He showed me, and led me down the right path. He’s so good. Your path may take a little longer than mine or a little shorter, but it’s your path, enjoy The Lord’s goodness on it. : )
    7. The list goes on, and on. Why don’t you take time to examine your heart on this one. Are you willing to be with the right person no matter what the circumstances are? My situation involved taking a bus to the other side of the country in an attempt to rekindle a relationship that went south because I was so stressed out from quitting smoking without The Lord’s help, etc.
  2. What if the right person is not ready for you, yet, because:
    1. They are too immature
    2. They are too young
    3. They are in a wrong relationship and have to come to terms with making a mistake. Now, they need to figure out how to undo their mess.
    4. What if they are in another country and are saving up money to come to your country
    5. What if they are trying to finish college or some kind of training that takes a lot of time so that they can actually spend time with you when they meet you
    6. What if they have been through a lot of terrible stuff in their life and need healing, so they are in a process of getting counseling, getting well
    7. There are so many reason they could not be ready for you, yet. Will take the time to pray good things for your future spouse?
  3. What if you are the reason that you haven’t met the right one because:
    1. You have a nasty temper, etc., and need to get control over that through healing, prayer, counseling, deliverance, and/or self-control
    2. You have have a serious health issue that you need to deal with before you get married and have children. Having children can take a lot of energy for a healthy person, let alone someone who is battling a chronic health crisis. Focus on getting well so that you can enjoy your life together with the right one.
    3. What if The Lord wants you to strengthen your relationship with Him so that you can have a strong relationship with your spouse
    4. What if The Lord has a specific mission that He wants you to complete before you get married and you have kept putting it off, or are in the process of completing it.
    5. Now is a good time to ask The Lord to help you do and be what He has for you to do and be so that you can receive your future blessings and be prepared for them.

Please don’t settle!!! Settling on 2nd, 3rd, etc. best is a mistake. It may feel good at the time but being with the one who The Lord called you to be with will help you to stay when tough times come, etc. You won’t feel the absolute satisfaction that you can when you’re in The Lord’s perfect will.

So many people are so scared that they are going to miss meeting the right one and they search, and settle… search and settle some more. You are so valuable to The Lord, He wants you to be with the right one, at the right time, more than you do. He wants to see you blessed. Draw close to Him and ask Him to show you if there is anything holding you back from being with who you are supposed to be with or if you just need to be patient. Remember, patience and self-control are fruits of The Spirit, they can help you stay where you need to be and go where you need to go. : )

Before I got married, I dated all kinds of guys. Some of them were good guys but just not the one, and I damaged them. Some of them had serious issues and those relationships damaged me.These relationships with the wrong people caused me to take unnecessary junk into my marriage. Please get counseling from a good counselor before pursuing a new relationship, or taking your relationship to the next level. Ask The Lord to heal you, you will be a better husband, wife, daddy, and mommy because of it. 😀 Take care of yourself and get well. You will enjoy what and who you have more. Shine on!! 😀

Here’s a website that has statistics on the benefits of waiting for marriage to have sex: http://waitingtillmarriage.org/category/statistics/

And if you want prayer, encouragement, counseling, etc., let me know. I would be blessed to help you or point you in a direction where some good people can help you. 😀 shinethroughme@outlook.com

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